random insanities.

life would be nothing without

random insanities

all the things i'll never say.

Thursday 31 December 2009 @ 11:18

Last night I had this really sad dream.

I dreamt that I'd died (I think I jumped down a building for whatever insane reason). Then everyone who knew me could see my spirit for an hour before I left for heaven (Idk why I could still go to heaven since I committed suicide) and I only had that amount of time to tell them all the things I wanted to say to them when I was alive.

There were a lot of people, but I can only remember my parents, and one of them said: "You must take care of yourself, OK?"

Basically, it was a really sad dream. And I was so relieved when I woke up. But then I realised that if I were to die right now, I'd still have so many things to say to so many different people.

The various events that'd happened this year made me realise that I'm the kind of the people who'd rather pretend that nothing ever happened whenever a problem arose, and I choose to avoid confronting the problem. I guess it's because it's just easier to look past that problem rather than going through the trouble of sitting down and talking with that person (which would inevitably bring lots of tears and outbursts.)

It would suck so much if I did die now. Because I'll still have alot of things to do, alot of things to say. But I still can't bring myself to say them.

And yay, this shall be considered as my ~~Emo~~ Cheem Post of The Year MWAHAHA. This shall be added into my list of New Year Resolutions: "Write a Cheem Post of The Year annually so as to realise my flaws and become a better person." LAWL.

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and i believe this calls for a proper introduction

HELLO PEOPLE! Rachel is me. I'm emotionally awkward, might have OCPD, and most people cannot comprehend my logic and way of thinking ~~which is full of awesomeness and win~~. A true-blue ELF, and a Triple S.

Wishlist
- A pet goldfish (which I will name Ember 8D)
- To spray whipped cream into my mouth
- ~~To go to a fish spa~~
- To become roomies with Magenta and Cassandra
- ~~Sony Ericsson W705e~~
- Canon E19 Cotton Candy Pink digital camera
- ~~「爱的3温暖」S.H.E book~~
- “Rumour Has It” by Jill Mansell
- “The Resistance” by Gemma Malley
- “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan
- “It Must Be Love” by Rachel Gibson
- ~~“You Kill Me” by Alison Gaylin~~
- ~~"Heartless" by Alison Gaylin~~
- "Thirteen Reasons Why" by Jay Asher
- 《Breakthrough》Colbie Caillat CD
- ~~《爱，一直存在》梁文音 CD~~
- 《Super Junior 05》Super Junior CD
- 《U》Super Junior CD
- 《Don't Don》Super Junior CD
- 《Sorry Sorry》Super Junior CD
- ~~《Super Girl》Super Junior M Mini-Album~~
- 《Super Show II》DVD

- Super Show 3 in Singapore (8DD)